Lucie, just a thought.....but have you ever thought about making a cardboard cutout of yourself and getting someone to place them at the back of the church or something?
Perhaps you could get someone to stand behind them and pretend to be you incase someone asked you a question....say like..."have you lost weight Lucie cos you look to be very thin from side on?" or something like that. and your hired help could say from behind the cutout.."oh yes, I am on a diet because this way when i forget my keys I can just slide under the door".
Of course mobility and dancing (especially with spins) would be a huge no no but maybe you could say that your shoes are stuck cos someone put some very super glue on the ground...or I know...you went to stomp out a lit cigarette that someone dropped but the heat was so bad that it melted your shoe to the floor.....and then went on and melted your foot to the shoe and therefore you can't move......maybe from there that would give you an excuse to say you need to go to the hospital and um, they should ignore you while you remove part of your feet from the shoe cause it's embarrassing.
Your friend could then pull out some scissors and cut off one of the shoes on the cutout (making sure it's the same one you said was stuck of course) and leave it there so it looks more realistic.....although tell your friend that they must not leave any trace of foot around the shoe on the cutout otherwise that may cause suspicion.
That way you could come and join us in Belgium
I don't suppose you & Simon live anywhere near Blackpool do you?
Dyar